


Don’t Go Breaking...Into My Apartment

by thorbiased



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Breaking and Entering, Brunnhilde Is Also Smitten, College AU (a little), F/M, Fluff, No-powers AU, There is a cat, Thor (Marvel) Is Smitten, and drunk, meet cute, thorkyrie - Freeform, valor - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-13 06:12:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16011932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thorbiased/pseuds/thorbiased
Summary: There was another squeak of metal on metal, and to Thor’s surprise, the door came completely off its hinges. Completely. It fell to the ground with an ear-shattering thud, revealing a very drunk woman with a bright orange screw driver in her hand.“You broke into my house drunk thinking it was your friend’s house and I should call the cops but my cat kinda likes you so we’re good” Thorkyrie AU





	Don’t Go Breaking...Into My Apartment

**Author's Note:**

> It’s amazing what a person when bored out of their mind. I resorted to looking up AU prompts, then wrote over 2,000 words of a fluffy Thorkyrie AU in a few hours. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Thor didn’t often spend his Saturdays alone, at his apartment, watching reruns of Chopped on the Food Network with his cat in his lap, but Steve had cancelled their plans last minute and Loki was going through one of his “I wouldn’t be caught dead with you” phases and Bruce was busy working on his latest PhD or whatever, so here he was. He idly scratched behind Pegasus’ ears and narrowed his eyes at the screen. _Come on, Ricardo, don’t make a salad with a minute left on the clock. I had faith in you._

Thor watched tensely as Ricardo threw a pile of spinach and olive oil on his plate while the clock ticked down. Even Pegasus seemed on-edge, worried for their friend Ricardo. 

There was a knock at the door, sluggish yet firm. Thor’s brows furrowed in confusion, and Pegasus shot off his lap and towards the door. She was like a dog, that one. Thor checked his watch. It was past midnight, meaning whoever was at the door was most likely drunk. He decided to just let them figure out that this was not their apartment on their own and just keep going. He snapped his fingers, trying to call his cat back to him, but she’d already plopped down at the door and started meowing. It was a lost cause until whoever was behind the door left. 

Thor settled deeper into the couch, breathing a sigh of relief when Ricardo threw his hands up. He’d done it, the madman. 

The knocking ceased, finally, and Thor thought he was in the clear. He tried once more to call Pegasus to the couch, but she stayed seated in front of the door, her white and grey tail flicking back and forth behind her. Thor waved a hand at her. “Oh, forget you, Peg,” he mumbled, cutting the volume up on the TV. 

The volume was almost too loud for Thor to hear a faint squeaking coming from the door, but he heard it. Dread pooled low in his belly. He stood up off the couch slowly, letting his blanket slide off his legs and onto the floor. He muted the TV. Pegasus meowed loudly. Thor tapped his pointer finger on his lips, as if the cat could actually understand his human signals. He crept past his couch and into the foyer, readying himself to deal with some drunk freshman. 

There was another squeak of metal on metal, and to Thor’s surprise, the door came completely off its hinges. Completely. It fell to the ground with an ear-shattering thud, revealing a very drunk woman with a bright orange screw driver in her hand. She stuffed the tool in her back pocket and pushed past Thor like she owned the place. Thor was just too shocked to say anything when she stumbled inside and collapsed on the couch. 

“Why didn’t you answer the bloody door?” she slurred, her voice muffled by the couch cushions. “We had an agreement, Korg.”

Thor stared down at his door, which now lied in the middle of the hallway, looking lonely. He blinked a few times, his lips parted. Pegasus mewed softly and pawed at the door, like she too was confused by its current state. 

“Sorry ‘bout your door, man, but your handy w’things, yeah?” the woman said, not sounding the least bit apologetic, “Wha’ever. Shoulda let me in.”

Thor shook his head to clear the cobwebs out and went about standing his door back up and placing it awkwardly back on its hinges. Thankfully all the screws had rolled back inside, so he gathered them up and placed him on the counter. 

“Cut the bloody TV down,” the woman groaned, covering her ears. 

Thor watched, still a little out of it, as Pegasus trotted over to the couch and hopped up on top the back cushions. She sniffed at the woman’s dark hair before jumping down onto the small of her back.

The woman cursed loudly and bolted up, sending Pegasus flying. She whipped her head around, suddenly alert. “Crap. This isn’t Korg’s place.”

Thor finally snapped out of it, but instead of doing the rational thing and calling the cops, he doubled over in laughter. He laughed so hard that tears were streaming down his cheeks. He stumbled backwards against the counter, clutching at his stomach. He pointed at the woman, who’d scrambled off the couch and now stood a few steps away from him with a blush on her cheeks. “You,” he breathed, “are very drunk.”

The woman humph-ed, and folded her arms over her chest. “Quit laughing!” she snapped. 

Thor lost it again. “I can’t! You just took my door off its bloody hinges!”

The woman looked in horror at the disaster that was Thor’s door and paled. “Oh god, I’m sorry,” she said, this time actually sheepish. “Geez, I thought this was my friend’s place.”

Thor wiped at his eyes. “It’s alright,” he said, chuckling one last time. “Really.”

The woman buried her face in her hands and groaned. Pegasus, who was amazing  at reading situations and knowing how to help, rubbed against the woman’s legs and purred. The stranger’s fingers spread slightly, just enough for her to see, and she looked down at the cat. 

“See? Peg seems to like you,” Thor said. He held out his hand. “I’m Thor.”

“Brunnhilde,” she said, taking his hand. “I suppose you’re going to call the cops now, yeah?”

Thor shrugged. “Nah. Pegasus likes you, and she’s a great judge of character.“

Brunnhilde’s shoulders slumped in relief. “That’s good. I can’t go back to jail,” she said, shuddering. Thor couldn’t tell if she was kidding. “I better go. Unless you want me to fix that door...? I should. Fix your door, I mean.”

Thor shook his head before he could stop himself. “No, stay. You’re drunk, you don’t need to be driving.”

“I’m not an idiot, I wasn’t going to drive,” she argued. “And you could be a murderer.”

Thor pressed his lips together in an unimpressed line. “I could be a murderer, but you just committed breaking and entering. So stay or I’ll call the cops.”

Brunnhidle’s pretty brown eyes widened. “You’re black mailing me into staying over?”

Thor nodded. “I’ve got a guest suite,” he said, “and I’m just looking out for your safety.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“Yes, I do. Your name is Brunnhilde.”

Brunnhilde turned her head in a failed attempt to hide her smirk. “Alright, Thor. I’ll stay.”

Thor grinned. “Yay,” he chirped. “Want something to eat? I’ve got Pop Tarts.”

Brunnhilde chewed on her bottom lip. She looked like she desperately wanted to refuse, but she sighed and nodded anyway. “Yeah. What flavor?”

“Strawberry, blueberry, and cinnamon,” Thor said, trying to hide his excited grin. He was a friendly guy, and one of his greatest joys was making new friends. Now one had busted down his door.

“Cinnamon,” Brunnhilde replied, hopping up onto the barstool and swinging her bare legs over the side.

“Toasted?” Thor asked, tilting his head at her over his shoulder, and flashing a friendly smile.

Brunnhilde rested her head on her chin and nodded. “Of course.” Her eye lids drooped, revealing white markings Thor hadn’t noticed before. They were pretty.

“Two?”

“Mhmm,” Brunnhilde mumbled sleepily, her eyes now completely shut. Thor smiled softly at her. She was really pretty, actually, with dark skin and hair and round cheekbones. Thor grinned again. Maybe he’d found more than a friend.

“So you’ve got to tell me, Brunnhilde, how’d you get this drunk?”

“Party,” she said with a shrug, “What else? Some crazy sugar daddy that calls himself The Grandmaster, I don’t know. He’s nuts, but he throws wild parties.”

“Sounds pretty wild,” Thor laughed, shaking his head as he dropped two Pop Tarts into the toaster. He pushed down the lever, then turned back to face Brunnhilde.

“There were some things I’d rather not relive, actually,” she said. She opened her eyes and narrowed them at him. “Tell me why a hot guy like you is home alone on a Saturday.”

Thor chuckled at her description of him, not that he hadn’t been called “hot” before, he was well aware of his looks. “My friends cancelled and my brother hates me.”

“That’s a shame,” Brunnhilde said, shaking her head ruefully. “Really, you should’ve come to the party.”

Thor shrugged. The toaster dinged, and the heavenly smell of cinnamon filled the air. He plopped them on a plate and passed them over.

“Bon appetite,” he joked as she took a bite. He expected her to wince at the heat, and opened his mouth to warn her, but she dug in anyway. Without hesitation. It was pretty attractive.

“Thanks, Thor,” Brunnhilde said. She wiggled her toes in her sandals to amuse Pegasus and smiled a little. “But I better head to bed. You’re the best, you know?”

“I’ve been told,” he said with a wink.

Brunnhilde jumped down, throwing her head back laughing as she did. She carried her Pop Tarts in her hands.

“The guest suite’s the third room on your left, and the bathroom is the second,” Thor called after her, leaning over the counter to watch her disappear down the hall. He settled back on his feet and shook his head. Pegasus launched herself up on the counter and mewed at her owner. He scratched her head. “What have I gotten myself into, Peg?”

* * *

The next morning, Brunnhilde woke up to three things. One, a massive headache that felt like a hammer splitting her skull. Two, the smell of bacon. And three, the overwhelming sense of panic that accompanied the feeling of not knowing where she was or how she got there. 

Brunnhilde shot up in bed and threw the covers off her body. She was clothed, thankfully, and wearing the same black romper she had been wearing the night before. The room she was in was small, painted blue, with a big window on the left wall that was drowning the room in sunlight. Way too bright sunlight, actually. She stumbled out of bed and forced the thick white curtains shut with a grunt. She pressed a hand to her forehead and racked her brain. How the bloody—

A cat mewed, drawing her attention to the cracked-open door. Brunnhilde narrowed her eyes at the little grey and white cat that bounced inside. It came straight to her and rubbed against her legs.

“Okay, what the—“

“Pegasus!” a deep, hushed voice called. “Get out of there, she’s still...” The door creaked open further, revealing the very handsome face of a man Brunnhilde didn’t quite recognize. His blue eyes widened. “Oh, she’s awake.”

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Brunnhilde said, clenching her fists at her sides. She’d taken a self defense class, she could fight him off if she needed to. “Who are you?

The man pushed the door open completely. He was large, at least six foot three, and very (very) muscular. Brunnhilde was suddenly less certain that she could take him. “I’m Thor, you broke into my house last night, ‘member?”

Horror flooded Brunnhilde’s veins as the events of last night washed over her. She clamped her hand over her gaping mouth. “Oh...oh, Thor I’m so sorry. I was so bloody drunk last night, and I’ll fix your door.”

Thor chuckled and waved a hand. “It’s alright,” he said, “Come on and eat before you go home.”

Brunnhilde sighed and followed him out of the room and down the hall. The living room and kitchenette looked less blurry than it had the night before, she had to admit. The embarrassment of the whole situation made her want to charge right out of Thor’s slightly off-kilter door, but her head was still aching, and that bacon smelled freaking really good.

“There’s Advil in the cabinet,” Thor said, taking his spot in front of the stove, which is where that amazing smell of pork was coming from. Brunnhilde’s mouth watered.

“This one?” she asked, opening up the cabinet closest to the fridge. Thor nodded, but she’d already grabbed the bottle of Advil and was bringing it down. “Got it.”

She swallowed two pills dry, then meandered back to the bar. Pegasus was curled up in a ball on the counter, and lifted her head when she heard Brunnhilde. She rubbed the cat’s back, earning a round of purring in return.

“She really does like you, you know?” Thor said, sliding a few slices of bacon onto a plate. He brought the plate over and placed it in front of Brunnhilde. “She actually hates most people. Except for me, Bruce, Steve, and Nat. She despises both of my siblings.”

Brunnhilde laughed and took a bite of bacon. It was perfectly crispy, exactly how she liked it. “I really can’t thank you enough, Thor. For letting me stay and, you know, not calling the cops.”

Thor smiled and pulled up a stool on the other side of the bar. He stole a slice of bacon off her place and stuffed the whole thing in his mouth. Brunnhilde was mildly impressed. “It was the least I could do.”

“The least you could’ve done was called the cops, actually. I broke into your apartment, and you cooked me breakfast.”

Thor shrugged. “I was raised right, I guess.”

“Clearly not,” Brunnhilde laughed, “You let a stranger into your house!”

Thor ate another piece of bacon with one hand and petted Pegasus with the other. “I’m a...kind soul?” he offered.

“You’re nuts, is what you are.” Brunnhilde ate another piece of bacon before jumping down off her stool. “Listen, I really should be heading back. My roommate hates me enough as it is, she’ll kill me if I don’t pick up groceries.”

Thor nodded. “Before you go,” he said, his eyes scanning the counter. They locked on a notepad and pen against the wall. He snatched them up and scribbled something before handing the strip of paper to her. “In case you get drunk again.”

Brunnhilde blushed slightly and read what he’d written. Peg would really miss you if you didn’t come around anymore. And then his number. She felt the corners of her mouth turn up in a smile.

“Don’t worry,” she said, looking back up at him and tossing her hair over her shoulder. “I’ll definitely get drunk again.”


End file.
